Morning star

Hello after forever. Just some months vanished again, but I've been thinking of blogging a lot during last weeks and some small flame inside me enforced to open this page again. Unfortunately the lack of time is still the main problem why I haven't written regularly anymore. Very hectic full time job takes most of my energy unfortunately, and now there is also a new relationship with a distance which requires its own time and the truth is that I have way too many hobbies which all are too dear to me and I try to find some healthy balance to dealing with all of them. 

I haven't bought just at all clothes recently because there is no need  for them. This dress was anyway an extempore finding in January and it has formed one of my favorite garment particularly now when the weather is getting warmer, but I have been wearing it all the time. The second hobby which has been frozen is sewing. I haven't sewn just at all recently or I can say that not at all, but now I have got my inspiration back and I did a new dress and there are coming some other new projects as well. It feels very good to be motivated again! I really don't know what happened or why I stopped sewing. Maybe because I didn't need anything and I can't see the point to sew just for fun? 

Due to this plague there has been now a little bit more time because I can't visit gym or pole classes (which I managed to start in January).  Otherwise my life has been quite much the same. I had a plan to travel to Prague at Easter, but naturally that plan had to be buried. I'm very happy that I managed to travel to Edinburgh and London in February before the virus started to conquer the world. I had the plan to travel this year a lot, but now it seems that there is not coming other adventures. Maybe to Lapland in the autumn if possible but everything is open right now. At least I have managed to keep my job which is very good and now it has been very calm days which is awesome.

Not so long post I could write much more, but the sewing machine is calling ;) I hope you are doing well despite of the virus and stay safe!

We stand alone

I'm kind of shocked to notice how many months have vanished since my last post into the unknown place. To be honest I haven't even opened the whole blogger during this time and just at all during  last months. However last days I have been thinking of my old dear hobby which once filled my spare time quite nicely. I didn't decide to stop blogging. It just happened without any particular reason or of course I could give a long list the different reasons (or excuses), but I guess one big reason is that I've been suffering a lack of energy and then there have been more interesting aspects in my life that have absorbed my valuable time. I didn't want to take any stress about the blogging and I just decided to  let it be and I will return back if the right feeling appears. And now it feels convenient to write again after eight months. 

 What is going on in my life? Nothing new and then again something new. A job is still the old one and it absorbs too much my energy to be honest. I have been really exhausted due to this inevitable factor and there have been too many days that I have been just resting after the day on my dear couch without doing anything and that is the thing which really makes me pissed off. I so would like to create things, but at the same time I need to face the reality and be kind to myself. Too much is too much and life is full of sacrifices.

Speaking about the sacrifices I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last spring and the summer was kind of a roller coaster. We are friends so no drama or anything and the decision was a right move. I'm used to being on my own and loneliness has not managed to kill me. In the end things didn't change much. But I can't deny that I wouldn't have had sweet cuddling moments with anyone during this time ;)

But what else I have done? Well I have been lucky enough to travel twice to lapland this year and those adventures have been great indeed that I can't find words to describe. The nature has become even more important to me and nothing feels better than having a bird sitting at your hand. An odd thing is that I didn't visit abroad this year, but I hope to find myself at some new destination when the new year turns. I have also still visited the gym, but unfortunately not that much than before. 

In a nutshell life is fine and will be seen if I even manage to write another post in the near future. 

He pulled in one last breath and then was silent

The winter vanished quickly and didn't feel long like people always here complain. To me it felt too short time and I would have liked to capture much more winter pictures as I did, but need to face the painful truth that the spring is here. If I want find some positive facts about the new season is that there are again possible to move more efficiently by a bike and it's possible to wear something else on than combat boots. I can only imagine how my toes will suffer after the first high heels walk, but it's always after the winter. I'm way too scared to wear heels when the ground is covered with the ice. 

These pictures I took already a few weeks ago. Today I visited the place and there was only tons of water left. Blogging has been on the mind all the time, but somehow I have felt strange fatigue after the days so simply no energy to blog and also there has been a lot of other interesting activities available. But let's see if I pull myself together. At least there is again much more light at hand which makes blogging much easier. 

I fell in love with that long coat and I wish it was self made, but sadly no. And unfortunately I need to pack it to wait for the next winter therefore it's too warm to wear when the temperature is rising. 

This weekend was spent mostly at home. Nothing special, just a gym, small shopping round in the downtown, playing with the camera and reading the books. May sound toneless, but to me it was very fine. On Friday I fell asleep around 8pm and wandered in dreams about ten hours. What exhaustion? 

For the dead travel fast

Not less than a week ago I entered a very interesting and heart-warming exhibition in a local art center Vapriikki. For once something which was able to strike right into the black heart of mine like a dagger which cut the heart of blood sucker. When I heard the Count Dracula is arriving in the town I knew instantaneously that I need to arrange myself to see. 

Here are some pictures I shot, but I don't want to spoil too much because I have my inner doubt that some of you are maybe eager to see all by through the own eyes. The exhibition included a lot of knowledge about the vampires from all around the world so prepare yourself to read while entering into this mysterious  dark world. 

Despite I already have quite much knowledge of the vampires (for some reason) the exhibition was interesting and well I never fed up with this subject. Only bad thing is that now I want to see all Dracula movies, watch True Blood and read Bram Stoker if you know what I mean. Kind of the exhibition is a time travel through the vampirism which seems to change the form and inspires people from decade to decade. 

An outfit I wore: A new long coat which belongs to my current favorite clothes. Unfortunately I had such a busy morning that didn't have time to put effort so much  into the look. But to be honest natural look with not so much make-up pleases me a lot currently. 

Oh dear Transylvania, the place where I've wanted to visit for such a good time, but which seems always to go further and further. Some day I will and that's the sure thing. I would like to visit there in the autumn, but never have vacation at that time. 

Equipment against the vampire bite. 

I strongly recommend you to visit here if the subject is close to the heart. Hard to estimate how much the exhibition interests the main stream people, but at least now there seemed to be all kind of breathing creatures. Dracula is available till the August so there is a lot of time left!

Silent whispers slowly flow, the silence from beyond

Hello after a long silent break. A heart beats still and it's dreadful to see how much time has gone since the last post and it's already soon March! I wanted to come and tell a bit news though can't say that there would be much new to tell. After Lapland adventure the days have gone in quite similar way. There has been some parties and other small light spots in my life yes, but mostly I've been at work and after work so tired that even blogging has felt too laborious thing to do. I've been also deepened in my own thoughts and pondered a lot of my life and which direction I would like to take it. As a scorpion I yearn some changes maybe, but not sure how big ones. (And when it comes to Lapland post it's still on its way. I took hundreds pictures and I try to introduce you some of them when I just have inspiration to go them through)

 But here  are a few shots which I took today. All the time the scheduled life torments me and busy days, but today I had none plans. So I decided to take my camera and go to shoot some random photos. In addition it was a nice gray weather instead of that burning sun shine which has occurred recently even too much. The ground was damn slippy, but I managed to stay up. It feels the winter is slowly retreating away which is kind of a shawl. I did enjoy that era when the coldness bit the skin and the trees were veiled with snow. These sunny days feels less convenient. 

 The coat is new. I picked it up yesterday and fell in love with it immediately. A huge hood and long hem are magnificent. I couldn't resist when I saw it to be -50% sale. I haven't bought much new clothes or anything recently and a plan is to sell a bunch of clothes away as soon as I have time. 

In a nutshell the month has been a work and work and some socializing. A lot of thoughts and pondering and hoping to find the answers. 

My dreams are getting darker and darker

Hello after a long break which wasn't my intention at all, but seemingly time is running recklessly and these days just turn to another and to another. I can't even say that I would have been too busy to blog, but always there has been something else to do perhaps more important or I've been just floating in laziness. People who are following me on Instagram probably know that I've also been on a journey which was definitely a lovely adventure, but I'll come to that later. This will be just a short post and wanted to say that I'm still alive and everything is well. 

 Yule and New Year went well and quickly. I spent time at folk's place by floating on hot tub which was absolutely magnificent and relaxing especially when the weather was beautiful. I also got some nice presents like a backbag and a smartwatch and both have been in use a lot. I didn't like before the backbags, but now I somehow wanted to have so called "fox bag" because I thought it would be useful while wandering in the woods and it is! I've even started to wear it everyday when it's so useful and comfy. 

For the last six days I've been under the flu, but now this battle seems to be over and I have energy to live again. Good thing is that the flu came now not when I was on the journey. But I will try to return to it soon. Now it's a lullaby time and  the new week is haunting behind the corner!

Winter solstice

The darkest day of the year is here, but if I watch through a window it doesn't look that gloomy because of the snow cover which increases the light. But of course the day is short and the darkness embraces us here in the north. I'm truly happy that we got the snow for the Yule. The white landscape creates the better atmosphere. 

I'm off for the next five days which is purely awesome. It's swell to have a job with regular working hours and if I'm honest that is the main reason why I'm still working in the same old place. I've considered little changes, but I will leave those thoughts waiting for the coming year. The mind just yearns something new and there is also some other reasons behind the scene. 

 These outfit pictures were taken a few weeks back during Imarta visit. I was wearing an asymmetrical vest with the black dress. Quite typical attire. I feel that my style is pretty boring these days when I wear almost always simple black clothes even at the party (Perhaps that is the reason why I'm not taking the outfit pictures that often anymore and also that it's hard to find time for them). I should also update the wardrobe and move all those pieces into the recycling box which I don't wear anymore. 

I traveled to the folks today where I'm gonna spend Yule like always. A few books with (actually I have many books which I'm currently reading) and I also took pencils with me if inspiration for drawing occurs. Traditional Xmas so to speak including reading, books, hot tub (!), perhaps Netflix and photographing. Well yes, the hot tub is awesome and I'm gonna go there right away. 

This month has gone so quickly and I've been on the road all weekends that I haven't had much time to think of Yule. Today I started the day by watching Santa Claus and the Magic Drum which was one of my favorite Christmas film as a kid with Snowman animation. 

I wish you all happy Yuletide!

On the wolf boundary

Over a week ago I traveled to see my friends and spent the longer weekend in Imatra once again. Was refreshing to do a small journey and get some distance to the daily life (I do need it every now and then). On Thursday we celebrated Independence day by drinking a little bit wine, but nothing that special. Friday was spent by hanging out and we rounded through a few flea markets and on the evening we poured more wine down the throat (we even visited a bar and enjoyed there for a good time until it was nearly morning). I also tried to capture a few pictures, but I really wasn't on the mood of photography and typically it was fairly cold and dark weather. 

We climbed up to the hill and the scenery was fairly beautiful. Russia is somewhere quite close there. 

I could call this rapids as a gap of death. Such a many lives have ended here. I've never managed to see opening the gates of rapids and the free water runs; perhaps someday. 

I can't stop admiring this magnificent building which must be one of the prettiest in this country (for those who don't know it's the hotel). By the way it would be an awesome location for the horror film. 

We took a peek indoors. The lobby seemed lovely and the small cabinet was filled with interesting goods and decor elements not forgetting bewitching stairways and hallways.

The building seems to be filled with the small details. I spotted this bat and a lovely cat figure on the roof is my favorite. Some day I wanna book  a suite for myself. 

The days passed too quickly and actually the whole month has gone in a speed of light. I've done some christmas shoppings and last weekend spent in Turku when my granny had birthday party. I also enjoyed the hot tub and I'm gonna do it again on Saturday ;)

Drifting

Hello and happy Independence day to all Finnish souls. I'm currently sitting on the train and roaming across the country to see my friends and spending the rest of the week elsewhere. An extempore journey is very much welcome and cheers up the mind nicely. To be honest I'm on the road also the next weekend because my granny has birthday party in Turku. It doesn't bother at all. I've spent the last few weekends quite tightly at home by doing own things so travelling gives variance. 

A few pictures and outfit from the previous weekend. 

On Friday evening me and my other half went to see indeed good cover band: Vaarallista. They played Nick Cave and Mana Mana to mention a few. Melancholic and dark lyrics with excellent female vocalist, who could complain? Unfortunately it was the cover project and they seemingly don't have any recorded songs available which is pity. I would listen to them with all my heart although the original songs are also very magnificent. 

The dress is self made and my newest creation. I have not bought or done much new clothes recently because there is no need for them. I rather spend my coins on these journeys, they give me more. (Except I bought new trainers yesterday because I was given a gift card from the work and can't wait for getting to try them.)

A few hours left until I reach the destination and a bottle of wine is waiting in the bag! I hope you all have a great weekend and see you.

In the moon light

Some nasty flu is trying to occupy my body, but I'm fighting against it by pouring vitamins down the throat. Today I've been a walking corpse whose brains are partly demolished by worms or at least it has felt like that. Not the best day, but I've seen worse. Perhaps that ice swimming in windy weather wasn't the best idea last Sunday even though it was refreshing and felt comfy. Then again there are loads of people under the cold right now so most likely I gained this little devil from some of them. 

However I wanted to share a few shots I took over the weekend. The walk in the woodland seems to come a kind of routine to me. Perhaps a short escape from the city to the human free zone is quite often much needed especially if a man is misanthropic by a nature. I enjoy walking all silence around me and spotting birds and other animals. At this time I was equipped with misfortune for the flock of cranes flew over me and I didn't manage to shoot any shot! But the moon was enchanting and created a beautiful light. 

Two pairs of tights, leggings and two shirts could't keep the coldness at bay. These first frost mornings have felt like someone would stab you, but slowly I get used to it. My outing wasn't long, but the short walk in the forest is better than no walk at all. 

Tomorrow there would be fairly interesting band playing, but I'm afraid that I can't attend if this state of health is getting worse. Today I've felt extremely tired that it's probably better to rest and skip the black metal. 

I buy nothing day

When rest of the world is having so called Black Friday I have spent I buy nothing day in silence and this has been so easy to me. The more I see those annoying ads everywhere the less I'm interested in participating in this insane consumption jubilee. To be honest right now there is nothing I would  need to have desperately. Of course I would like to have a new tele lens to my camera which would support my dear hobby, but that's almost all. I guess I don't need to rationalize why I'm not so into Black Friday. I try to respect the nature and do some small ecological choices in my daily life. This doesn't mean that I'm a pure saint who never do harmful acts, but at least I try to avoid them in some level. It's been joyful to see that I'm not alone with my thoughts. There seems to be a lot of people whose thoughts are flying in the same orbit. Instead of material, I prefer more adventures. Now I'm dreaming of having a journey to Lapland after the years and it's a lot of possible that this dream comes true in winter vacation. 

 And then one outfit which I worn some weeks ago, but I've been too exhausted to open blogger after the days. Again that old asymmetrical skirt, which I wear quite often because it's comfy and looks nice. 

Nothing special has happened recently. Days are really similar with each others, sometimes even too similar. Perhaps I would need some change in my life, but I'm not 100% sure of what kind of change. All in all I'm quite happy, but somehow I would like to take the next step in the life. 

Ps. Where the fuck is the snow? 

I go to dark

A classic outfit post at this time. I've gone in really simple and ordinary clothes recently so there has not been much to photograph. In the morning while drifting to the work, I just want to put something warm on and because we have work uniforms there is no need to dress so fancy (which is quite boring from my view who would like to get dressed rather in own clothes)

This asymmetrical skirt is one of my favorite skirt and that's why it ends up on quite often. It's easy to change the look by wearing the different bodice, but most often I wear black shirt. 

To be honest I wear that much the same clothes all the time that I could get rid of a big amount of the clothes. There is a plenty of garments which rarely end up being worn, but so far I haven't had a heart to put them on sale. It would be so much easier if the wardrobe is filled with the garments that I like to wear regularly. Perhaps I try to arrange that thing at some point and carry some items to the flea market. 

Weekend again and I have spent my hours with the camera and listening to King dude's new album which is bewitching. Definitely magnificent work and I regret that I didn't went to see him when he visited my city. I've also listened to audio book in german and I'm surprised how much I'm able to understand though there has been  a long break. Just got a tiny inspiration and it would be nice to revive the german skills again.

A year closer to the grave

November is my month. I was born 32 years ago which sounds such a long time. It feels that I just turned 18 a while ago and now I'm roaming in the direction of the middle-age crisis. I was talking on the phone with my ex-boyfriend in the morning and we pondered was it really ten years ago when we met for the first time? And yes it was. Everything has happened during the years and what will happen in the future? Hope something spectacular. Sometimes I feel anxiety when the time goes so fast and there would be so much affairs to do that I should live at least five lives more to get them all done. But that's a thing that I can't affect. 

 This morning I wanted to enjoy the dark and gloomy nature. I cycled to the lakeshore to snap a few pictures and managed to capture a bird picture as well despite of the dark weather. Some people find this season is so depressive, but my soul is blooming. Everything looks so beautiful. 

I kind of wait for the first snow too. It offers a different landscapes. 

 The bird which didn't care of the almonds that I was offering. 

I've spent the weekend quite much at home which sounds boring to some of you, but for me it sounds relaxing way to spend some quality time by myself. Some book, music, a couple of beers and sauna have offered the best company (and not forgetting the camera). Naturally I had some inevitable and less interesting works which I had to do and they took some time too. In a nutsell I didn't celebrate my birthday either this year. But I have my everlasting project to take a new tattoo at some point and that will be my gift to myself then. My arms yearn more ink!